Mommy Guilt vs. Mommy Envy

by Kerry on April 2, 2012

It seemed particularly hard to leave Taryn this morning and there were even few tears on my behalf which hasn’t happened since I went back to work last august.  Maybe it was because we had a great weekend together or maybe because she was extra cuddly and smelled like sunshine this morning or maybe it is just the cycle of being a working mom. 🙁  Some days are easier than others…

Someone asked me recently about “mommy guilt” and I can honestly say that what I feel on days like today and every day is not “guilt” but rather envy. 

I am SO jealous of those people that get to spend the day with our amazing daughter.  I don’t have guilt because I know that I have to work and by me working we can provide her with a home and other necessities of life and I know that the people that care for her each day love her to pieces.  But all that said I am still pea-green with envy that I don’t that get to rock her, kiss her forehead, and listen to chuckle when she finds something amusing!

Any other working moms out there that can relate?  Do you feel mommy guilt or mommy envy?

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Keri April 3, 2012 at 12:40 am

Definitely mommy envy, but I love being a working mom, so keeping the guilt low and the envy high is key!

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Dana April 3, 2012 at 7:37 pm

It is hard, especially when you picture all of the cute things you’ll be missing. However, real life rarely matches what we picture in our minds. There are times when I picture Emma and I sailing through days, doing crafts, cooking together, going to story hours at the library, and all of the things that I’d be doing if I were a stay-at-home-mom. If I find that I have several days in a row at home with her, though, reality looks more like coloring, meltdown because I won’t give her more puffins before lunch, laundry, potty training setback, an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so I can unload and load the dishwasher, etc. Of course there are cute things she does and says, but if the day described above was my life every day, I would probably be dreaming about answering email, writing my annual report, and team meetings! To me, being a working momma helps you put things in perspective. That time you get with her when you get home is that much sweeter because you have been away. You’re more present when you’re with her because your time is limited. For me, I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say that working makes me a better mom, but it certianly makes me a more aware mom. And it gets easier! Promise! Hang in there!

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